I was thrilled to discover your website. What a wonderful feeling to know that I am not alone in my frustration and depression. I had RK in April of 1993. Having worn glasses since age 7, I was excited at the
prospect of seeing the world without frames! It was to be a dream come true for me.

My husband was very supportive of my decision, and we began a countdown to the "big day". On the eve of my surgery, my husband presented me with a dozen yellow roses and a card that read " zero more days!"

On RK day I was a bit nervous, but had complete confidence in my doctor. After he had done the first few of 8 incisions in my right eye, I became quite relaxed, thinking "this really is a piece of cake". Then, as the doctor was making the third cut in my left eye, the speculum collapsed, snapping shut and driving the knife deep into my eye. The doctor said there was a slight problem, that one of the cuts was a
little jagged, and we would have to stop while he put a stitch in it. I was still so relaxed and trusting, I asked him if we could then resume the procedure, and he said "not today". He put 2 stitches in my eye and sent me home with a bandage contact, a patch, and pain medication. The pain was incredible, I could not sleep and had to have a sedative for several nights.

I can't tell you how many visits were made to his office over the next several months. The stitches were very painful and my eye watered constanly, as if I were crying. In addition to the constant pain, I had very sharp, deep surges of pain. I had so much sensitivity to light that the blinds were always closed and I couldn't go outside during the day. Since the surgery wasn't yet completed, I had terrible distortion and could not see at all. It was as if I were looking through crystallized, frosted glass. I could not read, drive, watch television or see my loved ones faces. After several weeks the stitches were to be removed.

An associate of my doctor decided to try some hard contacts in my eye to "see where my vision was". She tried several lenses in my numbed eye, which loosened more of the epitheleum, and fluid began leaking underneath it, creating a bulge and bubble in my eye. When my doctor saw it he simply said that my eye wasn't healing well and he
would have to put in another stitch. More pain, more bandage contacts and medication. Of course I was unable to work during this time, and could barely function around the house. Eventually the stitches were
removed, and the next step was to complete the unfinished surgery. The surface of my eye was so uneven that I would not have any hope of seeing until this was done.

I missed nearly four months of work. When I did go back, it was pure hell. I must spend my entire workday on a computer and it was so painful and difficult that I could only work half-days for a month. I would go home exhausted and crying. I still have trouble at work, but have a large-screen monitor and can adjust most screens and fonts for optimum visibility. Like most of you who have shared your experiences, I have ghosting, distortion and fluctuation. I still can't read the paper in the morning. I cannot read anything with comfort. When reading for pleasure, I borrow large print books from the local library. I can't see fine things like splinters and individual hairs in my eyebrows. I pluck my eyebrows by feel. I can no longer thread a needle. I used to love to paint, but haven't done a painting since the surgery. My eyes still become very tired, and I must use ointment every night, or the epitheleum sticks and I wake up feeling as if someone has jabbed a fork into my eye. I could go on and on, as I'm sure you know.

I was told by my doctor that my vision would improve and cease fluctuating when the collagen fibers that were severed in my eye finally grew back together, but that it could take several years. Well......? Over six years have passed and it is no better.

My left eye was my dominant eye, if this had to happen, I wish it would have been my right eye that was damaged. Of course I tried to sue, I saw a dozen different attorneys- what a joke! I am grateful for the vision I have, but if I could turn back time you had better believe I would still be wearing thick glasses!

There is so much more to my story, but most of you know of the depression, and the way the entire experience affects your friends. family and work. There is no aspect of life that is not affected. Thank you so much for the opportunity to share my experience.

Jan Janzen