Below is a letter I sent to several local newpapers which outlines my Lasik tale. Like you, I read Surgical Eyes before the surgery. I read the personal experience section and could not believe how awful the stories were. I cancelled my surgery. Eight months later I visited an eye doctor who had had the surgery himself. He was one of the optometrists in a group that perform Lasik surgeries. I convinced myself that he knew far more about this surgery than I ever would and that the procedure must be virtually risk free if he had the surgery done himself. I convinced myself that the stories on this website were abnormalities, very unusual and highly unlikely. Although I had collected substantial research on the procedure and knew it was not a perfect science, I figured the chances of problems were so low I could not possibly be one of them. I rationalized by saying the people I am reading about are not "perfect candidates." After all three different doctors said I was the "perfect candidate." I was told I did not have thin cornea's or large pupils or dry eyes and my prescription was not too bad (-04 in both eyes). I read surgical eyes but somehow I convinced myself to go forward. It was the worst decision I have ever made.
I took a gamble with the most precious sense I have-my eyesight. I rolled the dice, and ended up losing. There is not a day that has gone by since the surgery that I have not deeply regretted my decision. The guilt I have experienced because I read Surgical Eyes first has been enormous, and I'm not sure I will every be able to forgive myself for going forward having read so many of these personal stories. I feel like I should have known better-I read Surgical Eyes before my surgery and still had the surgery.

Lasik is an elective and entirely optional surgery. You are likely to be one of the lucky ones or you may be one of the unlucky ones. Is it worth risking your eyesight and your quality of life for convenience? I urge everyone considering Lasik to think very carefully before making the decision to have Lasik. I did think carefully but I made the wrong choice. Here is an edited version of my story as published in one of our local newspapers.

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Edited Version of Letter sent to the editor

On September 15, 2000, I decided to have Lasik eye surgery. I had worn glasses or contacts for the last 30 years. Since I do quite a bit of biking, camping, and swimming, I thought I would be great to not have the hassle of dealing with glasses. I thought it would be neat to be able to see the clock when I woke up in the morning. Although I was concerned and nervous about the procedure, everyone I knew had a successful Lasik and loved it. I assumed I would be the same.

Lasik is a popular surgical procedure which an instrument called a micro-keratome folds back a thin flap from the cornea. The doctor then directs a laser beam to a section of the cornea and removes some of the corneal tissue. The result is a change in the shape of the cornea which helps reduce dependency on contacts or glasses. Many people have very few difficulties with Lasik and are able to work within a few days of the surgery. I talked with three different doctors before the surgery. All of them said I was the perfect candidate. There was nothing eventful or unusual about my surgery. Second opinions show that I have had a "beautiful Lasik." I can now see 20/20 in one eye and 20/40 in the other. By all of the typical measures I am considered a success.

However, there has not been a single day since the surgery that I have not been in pain. At first the pain in my eyes was extraordinary. It was debilitating. It was so intense that the single thought that consumed my mind every minute of the day was getting the pain to stop. My face also became numb. The numbness centered around the eye but went as low as the mouth. The primary cause of this extreme pain apparently is dry eyes. Prior to Lasik, I was told by several doctors that my eyes did not appear to be dry.

More important than the physical changes, the pain has made me a different person -as a college professor, as a wife, and as a mother. I have had to find new ways to work because I am unable to read the long periods of time that I was accustomed too. There were times when the pain was so extreme that I felt completely disconnected from my children, my husband, my family and my friends. I felt like I went through months of life pretending-pretending to care about a friend's vacation or my husband's day or even my children's bruise when all I could think about was my eyes….and after a while I did not even bother pretending.

Today, ten months after the surgery, I cannot read for any amount of time without experiencing substantial pain. I cannot go outside without wearing goggles because the wind is too much to tolerate. I have to close my eyes when people walk by me because I can feel the breeze they create in my eyes and it is painful. I feel every heater, fan and smoke in a room. As the months have passed the pain has become more manageable. I am learning to cope and am finding tools to help me live productively. I have purchased software that will read my e-mail, web sites, and word processing documents. Some of this experience has been good for me. I have learned much about the value of human suffering, about the need for spirituality, about compassion and about priorities. I feel very connected to people with disabilities or who have experienced substantial physical trauma.

Eyesight is your window to the world. A loss of vision or the existence of chronic pain changes more than your eyesight-it changes every perception you have. I did everything right when researching my decision to have Lasik. I talked with several different doctors. I came to my meeting armed with questions that I had found from various Internet sites. I made sure the laser used was FDA approved. I made sure I had one of the best board certified surgeons in the area. I waited eight months before deciding to go forward. I was scrupulous in my follow-up care. I did everything right, and the outcome was still very wrong.

I took a gamble with the most precious sense I have-my eyesight. I rolled the dice, and ended up losing. There is not a day that has gone by since the surgery that I have not deeply regretted my decision. Lasik is an elective and entirely optional surgery. You are likely to be one of the lucky ones or you may be one of the unlucky ones. Is it worth risking your eyesight and your quality of life for convenience? I urge everyone considering Lasik to think very carefully before making the decision to have Lasik. I am not alone in my problems. There are thousands of people with very serious post Lasik problems posting their experiences to www.SurgicalEyes.com. Thinking about Lasik? I urge you to think again!

bishopcu@muohio.edu